The Suck

I still haven't gone on a date. One of my theories as to why is that I'm pretty fucking fickle. Here is a list of deal breakers:

-Stupid Hair.
-Younger than I am (even the same age is kind of gross).
-Cargo shorts.
-Bad Shoes.
-Not tall.
-Likes gLee.
-Likes terrible music.
-Plays in a shitty band.
-Bad breath.
-"Doesn't watch T.V."
-Vegetarian.
-Allergic to pets.
-Believes in god.

Pressure

Here is a conversation that occurred a couple days ago between me and my child:
P: Mom, I have to ask you something. When are you going to get married?
Me: I haven't found anyone I want to marry yet. Maybe I won't, but that's okay.
P: But then you'll be lonely and I'll worry about you.
Me: I'm not lonely! I have you and my friends and Bruiser.
P: That's not the same.

I've been sucking at master dating. I haven't gone on a date with anyone. I don't really even like anyone. The guys on the dating website are lame and probably gay (seriously, one admitted to liking gLee and when I looked at his pictures he had a totally gay face). Most of the time I feel like the thought of being with someone is really scary and I don't really want to do it. It's a lot of work. As of right now, I haven't shaved my legs in more than a week.

You've been updated.

Folly.

Last night the band played a friend of a friend's wedding. Admittedly, the friend who shall from here on out be called Johnathon, is someone who I have had a crush on for many years. He was never into me, though. For the record, the crush feelings (for whatever reason) are gone now. So last night at the wedding, Johnathon was talking to the bride and the bride's mother while we were playing. Johnathon pointed to me and told the bride's mother that I was his friend. The bride's mother then said, "Oh yeah? I hear she has a thing for you."

Embarrassing. I have never even spoken to the woman and somehow she knows about my former unrequited love.